Sloppy Drunken Bastard

Laugh or cry but seek cover (top-it-off and drain-it-down) if...
  • mass destruction occurs - *everything* gets trashed Everyone loves Dark Schneider
  • ...any major characters are killed
  • ...a spell, prayer or fighting technique affects people not even in the area
  • ...a preist(ess) commits an Evil Deed (TM)
  • ...any of the Four Lords does a Good Deed (TM)
  • ...anybody figures out the Rushe-DS connection without being told or shown
  • ...DS transforms into Rushe or vice-versa without a kiss
  • ...anyone tells a "When I Made Love to DS" story *anytime*
  • ...someone successfully raises or defeats the demon "Anthrax"
  • ...there's ever an unobstructed full-body shot of DS (nude, preferably, but if you find one like that, let me know...)
  • ...anyone makes a disparaging comment about the gratuitous (partial) nudity - audience counts
  • ...anybody admires DS for his wit and humor - audience participation definitely okay
  • ...someone asks DS to do something and he does it without complaint or comment
  • ...the Four Lords of Havoc are ever shown being warm and fuzzy (read: caring) in the present or past
  • ...anybody mentions DS's love life either past or present
  • ...Tia and DS have a Tender Moment (TM) that reminds you of Ranma & Akane (of "Ranma 1/2")
  • ...DS disguises himself as anyone or anything else - becoming Rushe doesn't count as a disguise
  • ...anybody mentions the ancient times during or before the Apocalypse
  • ...anybody does a kick-ass diabolical or maniacal laugh (drink a little extra if it's DS)
  • ...Tia, the Princess and Arshes Nei have an all-out, no-holds-barred fight to determine who gets DS
  • ...Tia and Arshes Nei discuss DS's two-timing (and a little more if they do anything about it)
  • ...anybody uses fourth-wall humor - acknowledging that this is a TV show
  • ...the demon "Anthrax" is awakened and causes mass destruction and chaos once more
  • ...the demon "Anthrax" is awakened and the scene is accompanied by a wicked-cool guitar piece
  • ...the demon "Anthrax" is awakened and DS slaps him around some and forces him into hibernation once more
  • ...DS says or does something cute or sensitive
  • ...Rushe says or does something aggressive or forceful
  • ...any audience member gets really into the show and says something like "Aw, isn't that cool/cute?" or "Oh, come on, I can't believe that!"

If you're still even remotely calm and sober at this point, then Congratulations! You have reached the ultimate level of Bastard!!-ization...

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