Character Information

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Compiler Vol. 1

MENU 1: BOOT STRAP

Late one night, after a meteor strike, Nachi Igarashi, and his younger brother, Toshi, find two unconscious women lying naked by the side of the road. Back at home, the men discover to their horror that the women are not human! In fact, they are aliens who can command electrical devices, physical objects, and even the weather itself! Upon awakening, the two women use these powers to force the return of their missing satchels, which were found by Toshi and hidden by Nachi. Only after the Igarashi house is completely destroyed does Nachi relinquish the cases. The beautiful but formidable alien women each take a Comb from the case [Ed: Combs are shaped like a hair comb, but function like a computer's expansion card.] and insert it into slots in their heads. Speaking Japanese, they politely introduce themselves as Compiler (the elder) and Assembler (the younger).

MENU 2: DECISION MAKING

Surveying the wreckage of their home, the brothers argue over how they're going to afford the cost of rebuilding on Nachi's meager salary (he's a computer programmer). They decide to use their parents' credit cards, which unfortunately are at the bottom of the disaster area that their house has become. The aliens appear, with Compiler looking chic in one of the Igarashis' mother's suits and Assembler in some of Toshi's casual clothes. Upon hearing the cause of the debate, they offer to help, which causes a fair amount of disbelief. Compiler clears away the rubble over the exact spot where the credit card is buried, but the card disintegrates before their eyes. Pissed off, Toshi storms away to school, and Nachi goads Compiler to the brink of further destruction. Assembler steps in, and calmly builds a new home from the debris of the old one. She models the new house after an Igarashi family picture at an amusement park she found in the wreckage. As Assembler finishes her work, Compiler and Nachi banter about the potential usefulness of the aliens' destructive and creative powers in combination with the brothers' knowledge of Earth. Returning home expecting to find a construction site, Toshi is beside himself with shock and anger to see their bizarre hybrid house. [Ed. note: The Igarashi home defies description. Eventually I'll put some shots of it in the gallery, but if you've ever seen the Compiler OAVs, there are several pictures in the third one. It looks like a respectable two-story house, complete with a partially glassed-in roof deck, that's had a horribly deforming encounter with a famous piece of Japanese modern art, a big starfish-like sun-and-crescent moon sculpture. Like I said, you've just got to see it.] Picture: The Igarashi house, as promised

MENU 3: GAME

Still angered by the unusual situation, Toshi goes to school, joined by Assembler. Compiler remains at home with Nachi, and from their respective locations, the two women pursue their game of World Domination, the true purpose of their cross-dimensional visit. Toshi's school chums at the Robotics Club are eager to meet his pretty new friend, but Assembler is more interested in the mechanical beetle that they're building. Back at the house, Nachi's anxiety about living expenses is more than quelled when Compiler explains that she diverted 5 million yen into his personal bank account. Through his joy at being rich, Nachi listens to Compiler's explanation that as Routines, she and Assembler are bound to conquer this world of Real Source for their homeland, the Electro-Dimension. The game lies in which of them will accomplish the task first and with greater creativity. Nachi agrees to cooperate, but schemes all the while to assist the government in stopping these absurd, would-be alien conquerors. Compiler wastes no time, and sends an orbiting satellite plunging straight towards Japan. Meanwhile, Assembler has ditched Toshi, and started a reign of terror in the streets of Tokyo riding a building-sized, mechanical beetle, courtesy of the high school junior robotics engineers.

MENU 4: SHOOTING

Assembler counters Compiler's falling satellite by tossing up a huge piece of construction equipment, using the super-beetle. Shattered pieces of the two items come crashing down on the buildings and people of Tokyo. Toshi chases after the beetle, going from rooftop to rooftop, pleading for Assembler to stop her carelessly violent rampage. Compiler, continuing her space-based attack, drops the Shuttle out of the sky. Nachi, her observer, briefly points out the excessive property damage, then leaves the roof deck to check out the news coverage. Of course, the TV is plastered with images of the battle downtown, and eventually Toshi and Assembler appear. Pissed off that those two are getting all of the media attention, Nachi enlists Compiler's assistance in getting some news coverage. Toshi tries desperately to appeal to Assembler's concern for humanity, which, unfortunately, doesn't exist. Distracted, Assembler fails to notice the incoming space shuttle until it's too late. Battered and bloody, Assembler comes to, only to realize that the merely human Toshi has been seriously wounded, trying to shield her from the explosion. Remorseful at last, she renounces her role in the Game, a decision that is supported by a naked newcomer from the Electro-Dimension, Interpreter. Prematurely, perhaps, Interpreter announces that the Game will be a draw, an outcome that will not please the High Council. Wrapped in mystery (and little else), she tries to assuage Assembler's fears of imminent deletion. Unaware of Assembler's actions, Compiler proceeds with her part, making a global media announcement that she, an alien, is successfully taking over the world, using her superior capabilities. If anyone has anything to say about it, then they should come to face her in Tokyo... and she provides the Igarashi address. Naturally, the armies of the world do have something to say about it, and a flurry of tanks, fighter jets, submarines, and aircraft carriers converge on Tokyo. Fully confident in her abilities, Compiler has no fear of this futile opposition, but begins to wonder about Assembler's lack of response. Picture: Compiler thrills in anticipation of the Game

MENU 5: CONTINUE

Just as the neighbors and the media are starting to arrive outside the invaders' base of operations, the object of Compiler's worries appears, bearing a still-unconscious Toshi in her lap. Before Assembler can explain, Interpreter appears, still undressed, but in command. She starts to explain the draw situation to Compiler, but is interrupted by Assembler's shrieks of delight when Toshi regains consciousness. Continuing her explanation, Interpreter pauses to make an overture to Nachi, who behaves admirably, considering. Not one to be put off, Compiler insists on rejecting Assembler's decision, since it would inevitably end up in their mutual deletion. She resolves to continue the World Conquest on her own. Of all people, Nachi steps up to stop her. Mirroring Toshi's earlier behavior, he tries to prevail on Compiler's compassion, with similarly negative results. Compiler, stubborn and powerful, leaves to confront the international armies of the world. Nachi watches Compiler's exploits on TV, and despite his regret, he leaves Assembler to nurse Toshi while he goes outside for exclusive interviews with the TV reporters. Compiler is having a great time flitting about Tokyo, blowing up planes, tanks, and soldiers. She freezes Tokyo Bay (yeah, I know it's ocean water), thereby immobilizing the submarines and aircraft carriers in a treacherous wasteland of ice. One of the carriers launches a missile in retaliation, but inadvertently uses one of the Tokyo-directed ICBM-types (that's a biggie). Remarking that she doesn't want to kill Nachi and the rest, Compiler saves the day, jumping onto the missile, and destroying it in mid-air. Landing gracefully, Compiler broadcasts once more that she alone is the supreme ruler of Earth, but she is struck down suddenly amidst gentle summer rains. Watching from home, Interpreter, now dressed smartly in a suit, explains to Nachi that the one weakness of the Routines is water. [Ed. note: An author's sidebar compares this fortuitous biological weakness to that of the Martians in H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds".] Nachi, who is already dressed in a tuxedo for the victory celebration, fears that he will be punished severely for his part in assisting the aliens' failed domination attempt. Interpreter assures him that she will save Compiler and take care of everything. So the people of Earth were made to forget the entire affair, and the two Routines-in-exile came to live with the Igarashi brothers in peace and harmony, for ever after...or something like that.

MENU 6: SAVE [1]

Resplendent in a Star Trek T-shirt [Ed. note: Go Asamiya!], Nachi leads the way to the beach, followed at a distance by Toshi and Assembler. Nachi berates his brother's lack of stamina, but Assembler protests on Toshi's behalf, since her actions during the Game caused the young man's injuries. Fussing and protesting all the way, the trio eventually makes it to the unusually empty beach, where Compiler awaits them, having transported there directly. She greets Nachi with a punch, pissed off at him for bringing them to a place filled with the very substance that fatally weakens them. Convinced once more of the insanity of humans, most especially a certain Mr. Nachi Igarashi, Compiler settles down on the rocky cliffs, while Nachi carouses in the sea. Noticing Assembler's changed mood, Compiler tries to cheer her up by offerring a Coating Comb, which would allow the girl to swim unharmed (much better than a bathing suit). Thankful, Assembler uses the Comb and goes off with Toshi to play in the water. Interrupting the happy bathers, a trio of yakuza men from the Onigawara clan arrive to expel the trespassers from their beach. They grab Assembler, and use her to intimidate Toshi. Compiler faces off with their leader, Sasaki, and offers herself in exchange for the younger girl. Wandering off to the nearby woods, Compiler and Sasaki make no sound, until the would-be attacker comes flying out of the woods and lands several yards away in the water. Picture: Assembler using Coating Pleased at finding a welcome source of entertainment, Compiler steps onto the beach and calls up the sea floor itself to chase off their enemies. Using Animation, the sand, plants, and shellfish combine to form grotesque monsters that rise up and scare off the yakuza men. Grateful for the chance to literally stand up for itself, the sea floor-monster thanks Compiler and settles back to its usual position. Several people witness Compiler's expansive actions with an unfriendly attitude. Tengan Kokusoku, a mysterious old man, marks the woman from some past memories, while the High Council deliberates from the Electro-Dimension. They send two Routines, Bios and Directory, to Real Source to delete our heroines! Can Interpreter warn them in time?

MENU 7: SAVE [2]

Still vacationing at the seashore, Toshi and Assembler are the very model of excited teenagers, while Nachi and Compiler enjoy the comforts of the hotel. On the night-cloaked beach, a streaking meteor resolves itself into a tall, well-muscled, dark-haired man, Bios, one of the assassins sent from the Electro-Dimension. He remarks to his similarly-endowed, blonde partner, Directory, on how easy their assignment is, but turns around to find his friend paralyzed, face-down and arse-up, in the ocean. Unaware of the approaching danger, Toshi enjoys a pleasant seashore dream that ends abruptly in panic when he rolls over in bed to find Assembler beside him. As it happens, Toshi's sleepy moans about the heat were heard and remedied by the ever-helpful Assembler, whose Routine-body is capable of generating temperatures from -30 to 100 degrees Celsius. Nachi, of course, mutters to himself that no one came to cool off his bed with their lithe body. The buff Routine-assassins outside seek a channel for their destructive power that might be capable of destroying their targets, and settle on the lion-spirit gargoyle guarding the rooftop of the hotel. While those two prepare their evil deeds, Assembler returns to her own hotel room, only to be grappled to the bed by Compiler. Picture: Assembler tries to save Toshi from the heat Compiler holds the struggling girl down and pulls a chip from Assembler's neck. With a note of despairing triumph, she confronts the girl with her discovery, the B-213 chip, a personality-altering device designed specifically to induce behavior typical of passive, effeminate humans. Assembler freaks out, saying that her lovey-dovey actions were the only means she could think of to get Toshi's affection and make amends. [Ed. note: Toshi very nearly died because of Assembler's role in the Game, see Ch. 4.] Compiler tosses back the chip and returns to bed, explaining dejectedly that their new situation as fugitives demands that they use the Igarashi brothers to save their own lives, if possible. The womens' conversation is interrupted by the booming approach of a great stone beast with the head of a lion, followed closely by screams and pleas for mercy. The Igarashis appear at the door, and Compiler sends them to safety along with Assembler. Recognizing the handiwork of Routines, Compiler resolves to fight the assassins' monster-puppet with one of her own, grown from a stuffed lion-toy that Toshi had given to Assembler. The giants face off, stone lion versus plushie lion, controlled by the naked Bios and Directory from a nearby cliff and the quick-dressing Compiler from the hotel roof. Far below, Nachi remarks on the scene's similarity to a giant robot show, and dubs their champion Mecha-Shiisah. [Ed. note: Shiisah is the name of the beneficent lion-god of roof and arcade.] Grappling and destroying much of the hotel, the stone Shiisah seems to be overpowering the cotton plushie one, until Nachi suggests that Compiler move the fight to the ocean, ostensibly to save the citizens. Drenched in salt water, the cotton plushie Shiisah loses maneuverability, and the onlookers fear the worst. Even the mysterious old man, Tengan Kokusoku, bites his lip in anxiety for the strange, but powerful, young woman from his hidden place in the audience. However, just as the stone golem rises into the air for the kill-stroke, the cotton Mecha-Shiisah steps aside and permits the stone one to fall into the sea. Helpless in its inability to float, the stone Shiisah sinks to the bottom of the ocean, while the cotton one roars in triumph. Picture: Shiisah vs. Mecha-Shiisah Compiler stares stoically into the sunrise while Nachi preens over his cleverness and vows to help even more next time. Assembler gets her dolly back, but naturally it's soaking wet. Bios and Directory fume over their unexpected failure, and promise that they will be victorious next time. They come up with some especially malicious plans like tracking dirt inside Compiler's house, or sending her a nasty package. Their dastardly scheming is halted abruptly by the beach police, who offer strongly to escort the two naked men off the recently well-populated beach.

MENU 8: RETURN

One quiet morning at the Igarashi house, Toshi opens the door to a delivery man with an 8-foot-high crate from Papa. Worried about the dangers of their father's previous gifts, he wakes Nachi and they go outside to cautiously examine the package. Inside the box, a small launch platform supports a 7-foot-tall (toy) rocket, and two naked men provocatively caressing the missile. Stunned, Nachi and Toshi are easily pushed aside by Assembler and Compiler who immediately recognize the bare-assed men as their would-be assassins, Bios and Directory. Picture: Bios and Directory in flimsy disguise Bios and Directory step off the platform and exchange snide remarks with Compiler and Assembler, before the two women hurry inside with Nachi and Toshi and activate the souped-up home security system. Relaxing their collective guard, the members of the household pursue their at-home activities, while Bios and Directory futilely assault the reinforced front door. However, these are Routines, and not mere burglars, so Directory punches into the outer wall and interfaces directly with the security system's main computer. Having gained access to the house, but not to any clothes, interestingly enough, Bios proceeds to search for Compiler, while Directory uses the house itself to pin down Assembler and Toshi in a raging flood of dishwater. Somewhat boldly, Bios busts in on Nachi in the bath [Ed: Why the heck would Compiler be in there??], unnerving and angering the elder Igarashi brother. Moving swiftly along, Bios finds Compiler watching period dramas on TV, and chases her through the house. Nachi follows afterward, having grabbed clothes and a few of Papa's more lethal gifts along the way. Unfortunately, Bios gains the upper hand on Compiler after she is ensnared in a web of cabling controlled by Directory. Wielding a whale-shaped, fully-loaded water gun, Bios laughs heartily as he looms over a defiant Compiler.

MENU 9: TRAP

Bios fires a stream of water at the pinned-down Compiler, but she deftly blocks the paralyzing blast with her hand. As the droplets scatter through the air, Compiler stands firm against the encroaching paralysis and manages to catch her attacker in the backsplash. Unused to the perils of Earth, Bios goes down quickly, but Compiler loses conciousness shortly thereafter, still bound by Directory's remote-controlled cables. Bios wakes before Compiler, and revels in triumph (still naked!!) over her unconcious body. He whips out an Eraser Comb, and builds up an energy ball designed to completely delete Compiler once and for all! Elsewhere in the house, Toshi and Assembler have managed to make their way to the flood-less safety of the upstairs bedrooms. Slumping down in exhaustion, Toshi confesses that while he likes Assembler despite her alien nature, he has kept an important secret from her. He admits to having a "GF", which Assembler desperately (and humorously) tries to misunderstand, before acknowledging that another girl holds Toshi's heart. Despondantly pulling out a Booster Comb, Assembler slugs Toshi and knocks him flying out the window, gaining back a little bit of her self-respect in the process. Meanwhile, still searching for Bios and Compiler, Nachi recalls the (toy) missile outside and reads the manual to find a use for it in their struggle. [Ed: That's how you know he's a programmer, he reads the f-ing manual *heh*.] At the same time, Interpreter arrives at the house, ready to help her friends fight off the two would-be assassins. Walking obliviously past Directory, who's still plugged into the house security system, Nachi notices Toshi lying sprawled out on the ground. Blithely ignoring such distractions, the elder Igarashi picks up the discarded rocket control mechanism, and switches it off. Immediately, Bios and Directory collapse to the floor, having foolishly keyed themselves to the rocket's radio control frequency while in transit. Pleasantly surprised at the humans' usefulness, Interpreter compliments the still-unconscious Compiler on her choice of Partner. She extends her compliments to the Igarashi brothers, who have trouble remembering where they know her from, and keep screwing up her name. [Ed: They met her during the Game, back in Ch. 5.] Interpreter explains how Bios and Directory created a new weakness in themselves, which could be exploited by Nachi's cleverness. Nachi decides to continue coming up with interesting ideas, and drags Bios' and Directory's limp, naked bodies out of the house and binds them onto the rocket. Protesting wildly, Bios and Directory scream their defiance even as Nachi launches them high into the atmosphere. As for the female Routines, Interpreter returns home amid a cloud of mispronounciations of her name, Compiler sleeps off her encounter with the water gun, and a still-angry Assembler refuses to listen to Toshi, no matter what. But we haven't seen the last of Bios and Directory or the mysterious Interpreter...